Let me marry my lover before I die! — Blind 86-year-old in bitter war with children

An 86-year-old father, Pa Jacob Shobakin, has dragged his children before the National Human Rights Commission over alleged abuse and violation of his rights, following their refusal to allow him marry his 67-year-old lover, Elizabeth Olufunke.

Pa Shobakin, in a petition through the Age Nigeria Foundation, a non-governmental organisation, accused his children of “abuse, forceful imprisonment, intimidation, and financial exploitation.”

The octogenarian, who is visually impaired, also accused his children of assaulting his lover and leaving her with injuries.

He specifically accused his 54-year-old daughter, Olubukola Fafunmi, of leading the assault against his partner, who is said to be his former tenant.

Trouble started in 2017 when Pa Shobakin, a retired banker, informed his children of his intention to marry another wife after the death of his first wife in 2013.

Saturday PUNCH gathered that the new couple had at the time fixed a wedding date and begun arrangements to formalise the union.

But the children rejected the planned marriage and accused Olufunke of exploiting their father’s vulnerability to swindle him and take control of his property.

The situation escalated when Pa Shobakin and his partner allegedly made three separate attempts, without the knowledge of his children and other family members, to formalise the marriage at registries in Agege, Ikeja and Ojodu Local Government Areas of Lagos State, but all attempts were thwarted by the children.

Nearly a decade on, the rift has persisted, despite various interventions from the police at the Area G Command and Zone 2 zonal headquarters at Onikan, as well as the Lagos State mediation centre.

While Pa Shobakin insists that the decision to marry is a personal right, his children have continued to oppose the move, citing concerns about his age, health condition and the circumstances surrounding the relationship.

Speaking with Saturday PUNCH during a visit to his residence in the Aguda, Ogba area of the state, Pa Shobakin accused his children of “imprisoning” him in the house and preventing him from going to church or receiving visitors.

He said, “My children are holding me here in my house against my wish. I’m a widower. After my first wife died in 2013, I decided that I want to marry another woman, but my children objected to it and since then we have been having this problem.

“My freedom has been captured by these children because they do not want me to marry a new wife. They have been mocking and ridiculing me, insisting that I cannot marry another woman.

“My marriage to my first wife lasted for 53 years and when she died in 2013, I decided within me that I cannot remain without a wife, but my children said because of my age, I cannot remarry. I told them that I’m an adult and I have the right and choice to marry whoever I want to be my partner. I cannot remain without a partner since 2013.

“Since 2017 when I made my intention known to my children, the frustration has known no bound. I have been going through agony because my children are insisting that I cannot marry again.

“They began to embarrass my new partner; they confronted her because they are too aggressive. Their aggression led to me and my partner going from place to place to seek justice.

“At some point when the frustration was too much, my partner threatened to leave me, but I almost prostrated begging her not to abandon me.”

But speaking with Saturday PUNCH, the first daughter of the octogenarian, Fafunmi dismissed the allegations, accusing the father’s lover of brainwashing him in an attempt to forcefully take over his property.

She said, “We learnt of our father’s planned wedding in January 2017 and we were shocked to find out that they (the couple) had even picked aso-ebi and bought all items on their engagement list. However, it didn’t hold. Other attempts were made at Agege local government, Ikeja local government and Ojodu Local government marriage registries.

“We petitioned all marriage registries, with their (the couple) pictures, informing them of the consequences of issuing a marriage certificate to an elderly man in that condition, without any of his children in attendance.

“We are not against the marriage. If he wants to marry, it is his choice. What we are questioning is the motive behind the marriage. Why would the woman be so desperate to marry an 86-year-old man with visual impairment without the knowledge of his children and other family members?

“This woman was not even our tenant, but a squatter with one of the tenants. She exploited the vulnerability of our father, brainwashed him with the intention of defrauding him and taking over his property.

“This woman collected baba’s ATM card and emptied his accounts until the bank informed us of unusual withdrawals and we blocked the card. Her motive has always been to take over the property which is not only our father’s but that of our late mother.”

Fafunmi also dismissed the allegation of forceful imprisonment and abuse, saying their actions were solely to protect their father’s wellbeing and prevent what she described as possible exploitation.

According to her, social workers and doctors from the state government had severally visited Pa Shobakin to assess his living conditions and found that he was being properly cared for.

“Because of the false information they had been fed, the social workers initially thought Baba’s condition was bad. But when they asked him about the allegations, he said he was being treated well and that the only thing he wanted was to marry his partner.

“We have been taking good care of him. We employed a caregiver who is living with him and taking care of him. Our stand is that since Pa Shobaki wants to marry, then we can’t have a visually-impaired elder, living with a wife whose background no one knows.

“This is the era of kidnapping and various vices. Should Pa Shobaki go missing on her watch, there is no way to trace her for any information whatsoever, and it will be convenient for

everyone to put the blame on his children, because of previous allegations against us,” Fafunmi said.

She accused Olufunke of putting one of the family’s property for sale without their consent.

Fafunmi disclosed that the family, in response to National Human Rights Commission, had set conditions for allowing the marriage to proceed.

According to her, the family is demanding a refund of all money spent on renovating Pa Shobakin’s property and processing related documentation.

They also insisted that his residential property be divided into two, maintaining that only half belongs to him, with documents to support their claim.

In addition, the children called for an indemnity — a duly signed and witnessed undertaking involving relevant state agencies — that would absolve them of any legal, social, cultural or religious responsibilities towards Pa Shobakin in the event of any consequences arising from his decision.

But Olufunke denied the allegations of financial exploitation.

Speaking with Saturday PUNCH, she disclosed that the highest amount she ever collected from Pa Shobakin was N50,000, a financial support for her father’s burial ceremony.

She also denied allegations of attempting to take over his property, insisting that her relationship with the elderly man was based on mutual understanding and care.

“This whole thing is a mess. The children really messed me up and I do not think we have any grudge that can warrant them to rubbish me anyhow. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment from them because I respect them a lot.

“My first husband died about 20 years ago and since then I never developed any feelings for men until baba came into the picture.

“My decision to marry baba was in line with God’s instruction to help him and take care of him in his condition. I didn’t agree to marry him because of his money or property. When I agreed to marry him, he didn’t have money; his account balance was just N1,000. I was even the one helping him financially although he refunded me.

“At the beginning, baba was giving me just N4,000 as monthly allowance for our upkeep before he increased it to N15,000,” Olufunke.

She further accused the children of assaulting her.

“In 2024, they attacked me while I was taking baba home from church. They beat me and left me with injuries on my eyes. That was not their first time of beating me. When the frustration was too much, I reported the case to the police,” she said.

When asked if she was still interested in marrying Pa Shobakin, Olufunke said, “I cannot comment on that for now. It is entirely baba’s decision because if I say I’m no longer interested, baba will be disappointed. Not only baba, but all those who have been fighting for me to ensure that I get justice will also be disappointed.”

Contacted, the Lagos State Coordinator of the National Human Rights Commission, Lucas Koyejo, declined to comment on the matter, saying the commission does not disclose information on cases before it.

“We don’t disclose information on our clients to the public. I cannot tell you anything about the case. There is an update on the case, but I cannot tell you anything,” Koyejo said.(Punch)