Many married women have sugar daddies now

A man once shared a personal experience with me. He said he met a wealthy woman through a mutual friend shortly after returning from abroad, at a time when he was struggling to find his footing financially.

The lady wasted no time inviting him to her base in Abuja, offered him accommodation in her house, and promised to “fix” him job-wise.

He said that before he knew what was happening, he had spent about two years in her house with no source of livelihood. He also said that the worst part of his ordeal was getting to the gate (when she had left for work) only to find out that it was locked from the outside.

One day, he called someone to help him break the lock from outside. Immediately, he received a call from the lady, asking what he was trying to do and threatening to send soldiers if he tried any “further nonsense.”

He said two things became very clear to him that day:

There were cameras in the house, which he didn’t know about.

He had become a prisoner of love.

So, he began to devise means of escape. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), his mother died around that period, and he told her he would be attending the burial and even asked her to come along.

He said it was the invitation he extended to her and the assurance that they would return together that made her relaxed enough to let him go. She explained that work wouldn’t permit her, and he travelled alone.

He said that immediately after his mother’s burial, he left the country again and changed his phone number. He swore that his life (even if he was flipping burgers) was far happier abroad.

He does not believe that he walked into that situation with his eyes wide open.

Any man who has not conditioned himself to rather become a wood picker (not demeaning, please) than place his economic hope in a woman will have unpleasant surprises waiting for him down the line.

The man who has the capacity to pull his economic weight in marriage but is not doing so will have himself to blame.

Don’t become that man whose wife always calls one ex or another for favours, because most of those favours will be repaid in kind. The easiest man for a woman to yield to is the one who always has her back economically.

Many married women are now involved in sugar daddy affairs. Some of them say it is the feeling of being catered for that makes it enjoyable.

I don’t know how capable any man expects the woman who puts food on his table to see him!

How does a man reduce himself to the point that if a woman doesn’t bring food home, he is unable to feed himself, and without her pay cheque, his bills cannot be paid?

Even if she earns more, your economic efforts should still be felt in that home.

The calibre of men I find most pathetic are those with no source of income who, rather than roll up their sleeves to change their economic narrative, are busy searching for a comfortable woman to marry.

Men should beware of women who are willing to marry them at all costs. Experience has shown that woe may follow if it turns out that you are not even worth all that trouble.

A real man should reject (with all his being) the reality of any woman carrying him economically; whatever is left of the man in you may never recover from that ordeal.

It is simply pathetic for any man to be busy looking for a rich woman to marry instead of developing himself and building his own economic strength. Do you really need to be told that you can never be a man in the eyes of a woman who knows you cannot provide for yourself unless she gives you?

The most important natural assignment that qualifies you as a real man is your ability to put food on your own table, not the activities of your third leg.

It is okay to blame the economy, but is the woman putting food in your mouth operating in a different economy?

When some men complain about the unbelievable excesses of their women, I bluntly tell them to go and reclaim the self-dignity that laziness has cost them. Do you know that what sustains some men is the food that other men (sleeping with their wives) put on their table?

The worth of a real man is hard to miss, and women think twice before crossing certain lines with a man who is worth his weight in gold.

•Written By Chukwuneta Oby