Dear Bunmi,
I know I get on well with my boyfriend’s family. We’ve been an item for a few years now.
But at a recent party, his dad tried to kiss me, after giving me a playful smack on the bum.
We’d all had too much to drink, but I told my boyfriend about it right away.
In the morning, I didn’t make an issue of it, as it looked as if both father and son had forgotten all about the incident.
Thinking it was a one-off, I put it all behind me. But some months later, he made another pass at me. This time, we were both sober and I was indignant.
He apologised and promised it would never happen again. I was stunned by his behaviour, to say the least.
Dear Bunmi, I know I should have mentioned it to my boyfriend. But I was too shocked to think straight. How should I handle this?
Uju, by e-mail.
Dear Uju,
Honesty might be the best policy, but I don’t believe it applies here. Telling your boyfriend now would achieve nothing.
He’s bound to be terribly hurt, leading to a full-scale warfare within the family – father versus son, husband versus wife, even boyfriend versus girlfriend.
It must be horrible trying to fend off the advances of a drunken old leech. And even though you should alert your boyfriend again that his dad is not to be trusted, the fact he did nothing the first time should be a restraint.
For now, you should keep quiet and see if your boyfriend’s dad can keep his promise. If he can’t, you’ll have to say something — either to him or your boyfriend.
Then again, if you tell your boyfriend, it may come down to being your word against his dad’s, and who will be believed. No son likes to doubt his father.
You need to confide in someone you know you can trust. Getting it off your chest might help you put it behind you and move on.
Don’t forget, however, to give this old git a final warning. Tell him if he does it again, you’re going to tell his son and wife.
(Vanguard News)
