When you have been in a relationship for a long time with your partner, your lives will become intertwined, which means the list of things the two of you share will gradually get longer and longer, your friends, interests, dislikes and so on sharing passwords in this digital age is now a big issue, as social media deprives more and more people of secrecy or privacy, yet encourages people to keep secrets in life, confusing right? It might sound silly, but in this digital day and age, sharing passwords in a relationship is enough to break relationship practically our whole lives are online, and giving someone that level of access to us can be frightening, words can be misunderstood, misinterpreted and can be perceived as what is not.
In some cases, swapping passwords might be the new norm in some relationships, while for some it is unheard of. If your password is meant to be personal, how come it is common amongst couple and an issue if one partner resists sharing?
It’s common sometimes for partners to share their passwords because they believe that this is a significant step to show that they trust you and you should trust them. Personally I have observed that partners also share passwords for convenience. For instance, if I need log on to my partner’s computer in the study to do some work, I may need it at a time he won’t be available, so the logical thing would be to give it to me so I don’t keep calling every single day for it. Right?
In a situation where you and your partner trust each other, it might seem like nothing at all when you swap login in details and password, especially for seemingly harmless things like Netflix, family computer in the study etc. but there is a mighty difference when it comes to getting your partners Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and any other related password. It takes loads of trust to allow them have access to these platforms, having that level of transparency takes a lot of guts and risk because anything can go wrong
The risks of sharing passwords in a relationship
But just because it’s common and can help to build trust , showing transparency does not mean sharing passwords with your partner is always a good idea. It will appear beautiful and wonderful when all is well with you both. The minute a breakup occurs then that’s when the sweating and fear will begin, sometimes as far as blackmail. So be wise! When an ex has access to your details, it is a big risk of a million and one things going bad.
Sharing password establishes trust no doubt, but the point here is it can also be extremely risky. A partner that seems trustworthy at first could easily use your password to commit fraud or worse still identity theft, buy things you don’t want, clear out your credit card, swipe your whole cash, relocate with all you have or expose you to harmful virus, debt and land you in jail.
There’s also a risk that your partner could take advantage and revenge against you or anyone they wish to harm in the event of a breakup. The lure of people sharing your private info to the world is real and can destroy your life. Everything being rosy now does not mean it will remain rosy. Change is a constant fact of life
I personally advise that you remember to change your passwords right after a break-up, just in case. We do not pay for break-ups; the reality is they do happen.” Better to be safe than sorry. “
Is it ever a good idea to exchange passwords with your partner?
There are risks involved, but if you are smart about it, sharing with your partner is not such a bad idea and doesn’t have to end badly.
The basic rule is to ensure you just don’t share with every partner you come across, you need to study and test them to be sure you can TRUST them.
You have to really get to know them, establish rules and boundaries so that they already understand what is acceptable, provided you have nothing to hide once secrets they should know and you are not telling is involved then, that automatically changes the game.
At this point, your relationship now turns into a game. I personally advise give it a year at least before you share passwords.
When you’re with someone long-term, and especially if you live together, it can be tempting to share passwords simply for convenience’s sake.
But just because it might make things easier doesn’t mean it’s a decision you and your partner should make lightly, because it’s not something that works for every long-term couple, sometimes it backfires. So you need to be absolutely sure of all risks involved.
Some people enjoy sharing everything and see nothing wrong with it, while some have trust issues which may take a while, some would rather not share at all.
What I consider a danger sign is if one side feels the need to sneak around and spy on the other, they may have much bigger issues than mere lack of boundaries and this attitude needs to be taken note of seriously.
How to set healthy boundaries about online privacy
You must as a matter of principle decide if your relationship is ready for the intimacy of swapping passwords, it’s not something you should do spur-of-the-moment or because the love between you both is so sweet at the moment, it’s important to first have a conversation about your online privacy boundaries, and what those will look like in the event that you exchange passwords. Communication like I always preach is key. Dialogue and discussions as at when due is what any healthy relationship requires. Agree on what you both feel is comfortable for either of you and be at peace with it. If there is any reason for an over step of boundaries, then revisit the conversation again.
As with anything in a relationship, the biggest key to successfully transitioning into the sharing passwords lifestyle with your partner is to make sure you communicate with each other any time an issue pops up, or whenever you feel a boundary has been crossed. Ultimately, if you truly trust each other and have the foundation of a solid, long-lasting relationship, sharing passwords will just be the next step towards growing closer and more intimate with your partner.
In other words, sharing your password is not a big deal, but can become a big deal if not properly handled as adults. Everyone has boundaries of what they can tolerate.
Find out what your partners’ boundaries are and stick with. You may be ready to give all your million passwords away and your spouse is not ready to cross that border yet.
Give it time and show how committed and trustworthy you are. It is important to note that misused passwords can not only have a ripple effect but a long term negative effect in all areas from relationship to career to family and to brand destruction.
Some people have the tendency of taking their partners online transparency for granted, by going through their messages without their consent.
I will not encourage or advise this behaviour. It can destroy you inside out. It never ends well when you see what you should not have seen, especially if your partner is busy sliding into people’s DMs sharing sexy photos and all without your knowledge.
It is a game that quickly goes out of control and highly addictive. What is yours should not be controlled. There is no easy answer to life, but various experiences that shape and form our actions and opinions.
It is only time and situations that can show you who truly loves you. I wish you all the best. (The Nation)
