It is stale news that the fire-eating, yet compassionate, Governor of Ondo State, Rotimi Akeredolu, SAN, is dead. He will no longer be referred to in the present. From the minute he passed, any reference to him changed to past tense. It is a difficult thing to adhere to, especially for his loved ones And even to his not-so-loved. So, I was not in the least surprised when his former Deputy, now Governor Lucky Aiyedatiwa, kept referring to him in the present this other day when he visited the Akeredolu family in Ibadan to register his condolences. Given the not-so-cordial relationship between them, I thought Aiyedatiwa would have been eager to refer to his former boss in the past.
This write-up is not about lamentations over Akeredolu passing. Those have been coming like claps of thunder from the minute he passed. But, even though I don’t believe in praising the dead for the fun of it, I will give it to the late Governor that he was fearless, and fiercely protective of the Yoruba. I will give it to him that he loved his wife without boundaries. I will give it to him that he had a lot of respect for his Emeabiam, Owerri, Imo State in-laws who, also revered and loved him in equal measure.
The late Governor was not a Saint. He was not infallible. No human being is. He had his faults. For instance, I was taken aback when, a few days after his return from his medical vacation an impeachment process kicked off against Aiyedatiwa, the man who has now been sworn-in as the substantive Governor. The idea of an impeachment was not a smart one. I felt Akeredolu was in a position to stop it. It was unnecessary. A distraction. An additional stress he hardly needed given the delicate nature of his health at the time.
What I want to do here, however, is to address his very devoted wife, Betty, the Ondo State Chapter of the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, and some ne’re-do-wells who want Betty on the cross either because she is an intelligent, sure-footed, Igbo woman or because she was very much loved by her husband.
The PDP, Ondo State had no sympathy for the late Governor when he was battling for his life. Its members were so desperate to see Akeredolu declared unfit for office that nothing was beneath them to do.
In all kinds of ways, the Ondo PDP put Akeredolu under intense pressure. Until the day he gave up, he was given no breathing space. The PDP made sure, through a number of, atimes, heartless press statements and releases, that Akeredolu had no rest. He was constantly reminded of his fragile health status. He was constantly told, as if they were his doctors, that he had become incapacitated and so, was no longer fit to govern the State. When he came back from a three-month medical vacation and stayed back at his private residence in Ibadan, the PDP deliberately refused to understand that it could have been on the instructions of his doctors. Its leadership refused to understand that he stayed back in Ibadan to avoid the numerous visitors, including Traditional Rulers, who would stream into Government House, Akure, to see him. Not attending to them would have been considered rude. So, the PDP mocked Akeredolu and his health status no end, put him under constant pressure, and not even his family was spared. But for the pressure on him, Akeredolu could have stayed back in Germany some more before coming back home. Perhaps, just Perhaps, the story could have been different today.
On Akeredolu’s passing, therefore, given their obscene pressure on him, I expected Ondo PDP members to re-enact the scene which played out on the day former Head of State, General Sani Abacha died. In Lagos, led by fiery Lawyer, Femi Falana, SAN, some Lagosians trooped out to celebrate. So, I half- expected to see PDP members celebrate Akeredolu’s death. And I thought one of them could have, by now, be sitting inside Government House, Ondo, as the Governor. Whatever happened to compassion?
Then, there is a group of funny characters, cranks, crack heads, who know nothing about the strong bond between Akeredolu and his wife; who know nothing about a loving and peaceful family; who do not care about family; who are haters of a strong bond between husband and wife; who would rather put their wives under their feet and trample on them; who are so bush and uncivilised that they would keep their wives down; who hardly appreciate anything good; who knock heads together; who enjoy knocking the head of one ethnic group against the other; women haters, wife-beaters, who never support their wives to rise or progress; who have a huge complex; a phobia for sure-footed and successful women; who are intimidated by high profile women; who would rather a wife has no say in her husband’s family or her husband’s affairs. They are the ones who went to town in the months leading to Akeredolu’s passing to run his wife down. Since Akeredolu’s passing, they have upped the ante.
Suddenly, Betty who worshipped the ground her husband walked on, was no longer a caring wife. Suddenly, she abandoned her husband in his hours of need, when he was at his most vulnerable. Suddenly she was the one in charge of the Government even when her husband was as fit as a fiddle. Suddenly, she cared more for frivolous things than her husband’s health. Suddenly, she emptied Ondo State’s treasury to develop her village, and turned it to London. These are people who have never stepped into Imo State before, not to talk of Emeabiam, Betty’s village. These are people who know nothing but beer palour gossip. These are Igbo haters. These are people who fan the embers of ethnic hatred. These are charlatans. People without character. People who play to the gallery. To these people, all I can say is: may you never have a sure-footed woman in your lives- not as a wife, a daughter, a sister or a relation. May the women in your lives remain dumb, backward-thinking and with no impact on humanity or their environment.
Finally, a word for Betty. The vivacious Betty. The Betty who lives for the wellness of women. The Betty who lives and breathes girl-child education. The Betty who has produced young female scientists in Ondo State. The Betty who has equipped young girls to think positively and face the world. The Betty who has given hundreds of young girls in the State and beyond self-esteem. But the Betty who feels lost without her man in the face of callous attacks.
It is the usual to ask one not to cry/weep when one loses a loved one. One would be told why one should not cry. “Eh, don’t cry. He/she is in a better place. He/she is at rest at God’s feet. It is God’s wish. He/she will watch over you from there.” And more. But hey, I have seen high profile Clerics shed tears uncontrollably on the death of their loved ones! And my reaction was, why are they going contrary to what they preach from the pulpit?
Then, there are Bible verses which tell us that the dead shall rise again. That we shall all meet at the feet of Jesus Christ on the last day.” I have always wondered about those words of consolation. It has been difficult for me to accept, to reconcile them with the intense pain I still feel in my heart, 25 years since after I lost my younger brother. If “that place” is better, why does everybody, including the leaders of all religions, avoid going there as soon as possible? Why do they go to the best hospitals when they are ill? Why are they not anxious to die si as to be at the feet of Christ our Lord?
My opinion has always been that one should not be given any false hopes about a reunion, or about the dead being happy or being in a better place. One should be allowed to mourn when bereaved. One should be allowed to weep when one loses a loved one. One should not be bottled up. To Betty, therefore, I say weep.
There are many reasons why she should weep. She and her husband were so much into each other. They were best friends. They were soul mates. He was the man who gave her a free hand and space to fly and break the ceiling. He gave her space to blossom. Her best fan. The man who was not intimidated by her many successes. The man who flaunted his wife’s successes. She and her husband were such great partners, strong partners in the development of Ondo State. In them, Ondo people voted one (Rotimi) and got one (Betty) free.
In every way, she was a very supportive spouse, a listening and effective First Lady. She embarked on a number of programmes to keep the youths busy. She simplified and demystified cancer and made not only Ondo women, but Nigerian women to stop seeing Cancer as a death sentence. She gave them hope. And courage. And support. And created an incredible awareness. And, for the records, she had long embarked on that before she became Ondo State’s First Lady.
It is thanks to Betty that for the first time, the Media knew, and took serious note of the fact that there are other First Ladies in other States aside from that of Lagos State. Before Betty, attention was usually focused on Nigeria’s First Lady and that of Lagos State. Betty stopped all that. From Akure, “she stole the show.” She is computer-savvy, social media savvy. Deep. Brilliant. Innovative. Day after day, week after week, month after month, she had one positive programme or the other for the youths, for the girl-child, for women.
For all her activities, she became the envy of many. Jealousy and bad blood set in. Everything was said and/or done to pull her down, to discourage her. Yet, she ignored all that. And moved on.
With her husband’s passing, the blackmail and the lies have multiplied. They have grown wings. They have risen to high heavens.
But, a strong, focused woman, in the face of the attacks after her husband’s passing, Betty’s response was classic. She posted on her X page, her love life with her husband. She told the story of their first meeting. How both of them fell in love with each other at first sight – a love that endured. She chose to focus on the bright side of life. She chose to remember their times together. That is the spirit.
The appeal to those who are baying for Betty’s blood, who are fanning the embers of ethnic hatred, is to let her be. Allow her to weep and mourn her husband with, and in dignity.
The only crime she committed is that she is an Igbo girl who found love in a Yoruba boy. Both blended. Both bonded. Both produced responsible, successful children who have both Yoruba and Igbo blood in them. And both built a formidable Yoruba-Igbo family nobody can ignore. Let her mourn her husband in peace.
Comfort Obi is the Editor-in-Chief/CEO of The Source (Magazine), https://thesourceng.com. Email: [email protected], [email protected]
