IT was late M.K.O Abiola who once said, ‘Whenever a woman says ‘no’ she says maybe she mean ‘ yes’.
Funmi and Bode enjoyed a blissful relationship. They were seen and known as a couple in their place of employment. People had come to accept them as one. They appeared to be so much in love and were so inseparable. It come as a shock to everyone at ZP Investments when Funmi suddenly slammed bode with a law suit, sueing for rape.
Never in the five years of the operation of ZP Investments, have they witnessed such a scandal. Yes they have heard of rape accusations before, but not for a regular, known couple? It just did not make sense. Throughout this period, neither Funmi nor Bode said a word to anybody. Management could not even contemplate laying them off or placing them on suspension. They were the most hardworking staff they had and since it was not a case of fraud, they were simply helpless as to what to do.
The day of the hearing finally came, as can be imagined, the court was filled to capacity. In fact some had to sit outside but they all were anxious to know what this was all about. When Funmi was called to the stand, all she should mutter between heavy sobs was that Bode raped her. When it finally came to Bode’s turn, he looked so emaciated and withdrawn. The scandal seemed to have taken its toll on him.
During Funmi’s lawyer cross examination of him, he told the court what happened. They had both enjoyed a solid relationship for over three years, which was no news, it however became news when he said, the affair all along had been platonic. Everybody in court was like he had got to be kidding! ‘Ha’, they all thought, is this possible in Nigeria?
Anyway, he continued, his friends started toasting him about it making him an object of ridicule. They convinced him to go all the way with her or else someone else would do it in his palace. He said whenever he wanted it, she always said no, his friends made him to believe that all ladies mean yes when they said no.
Below are people opinions on the incident.
Mr. Patrick Mordi
Funmi should go and sit down. This sort of thing does not happen in Nigeria. How can she want a platonic relationship yet she spends his money, visit his place, alone? What does she expect? She should be real. I am sure she one these girls that read all these romantic novels. It’s not real. Courtesy demands that she should have stopped seeing him long before the unfortunate incident.
I blame Bode for waiting for three years before touching a lady he calls his regular date.
Three years?
Infact, something is wrong with both of them. If the lady is not careful, he could be stigmatised. I trust Nigerian men they will avoid her like a plague in the future. If she knows what is best for her, she had better settle quietly out of court. In the western world, this kind of thing happens all the time, we know, but not Africa and certainly not in Nigeria.
Miss Fraice Chukwuka
Men should get it into their thick skulls, when a woman says no to their love advances. They mean exactly that, no. it is a wrong notion to say we mean yes when we say no. some men are really beasts when it comes to making love to a woman. I once dated a guy who I visited innocently with nothing in mind. After all, should everything be about sex? One can enjoy a good relationship without necessarily having sex, with the person.
I will spare you the unnecessary details. When we got to his apartment, I was impressed; he really had a nice place. He made sure I relaxed, bought me drinks, slotted in an incredible movie called unfaithful before we knew it, one thing led to the other and we were right there on his rug, we started making out. He was kissing and fondling me all over, when it got to the point of removing my pant, I came back to my senses and started to ward him off, it was a little too late because he was much stronger than me and he had his way. I felt used. He kept begging at a point, he even got on his knees and said he was deeply sorry. He claimed he just could not resist me and so on. I wish I had not gone to his place alone. I wish I had not accepted his stupid invitation.
Well in conclusion, I feel that no real gentleman should force himself on a woman. If she does not want it, her feelings and opinion should be respected.
Miss Fidelia Ofuu
Yes, in some cases, it is very true. Some women say ‘no’ to guys, just to play hard to get. When I met my current boyfriend, I remember very well I had secretly admired him from afar and prayed for him to even notice me. When he finally did notice me and asked me out impulsively, I said no deep down. I wanted him to persist, and that he did after resisting him for about two months, I finally gave in.
You see, the thing with some of our men in Nigeria is that when you say ‘yes’ the first considered to be a cheap lady. So some of us ladies know better
Generally, men enjoy the chase. It is how they were created. They like to go for things. That is why it not too advisable for ladies to give in to guys, so easily. Some men respect a girl that gives them a little tough time. Allow him call you five times before you return one call. Make him sweat a bit. If he wants you this week, be available next week. If you say ‘yes’ to guy the first time, you have messed the whole process.
Mr. Tunde Ola
My orientation is completely different from that of other men. When a lady says no to me, I simply leave her alone. I do not believe in imposing my person on any particular woman or even man for that matter. I believe that people should identify what they want and say it as it is.
I have a female friend who thinks otherwise. Whenever I ask her out on a date and she says no, I just leave her alone.
Unknown to me this annoys here like hell. She says she wants me to insist on what I want and convince her to change her stance. I am simply not used to their way of life but because I care for her, I might begin to change to suit her expectations.
Women generally are highly unpredictable, you never know for sure what they want , but since we cannot do without them, who are we to complain?
(The Nation)
