In homes where multiple wives are confined together with little privacy, unequal affection from the husband or competition over children and resources can ignite tensions. In such cases, violence becomes the language of unresolved resentment. What is meant to be a union of harmony, built on Islamic principles of equity and compassion, can deteriorate into rivalry, jealousy, and even death, writes GODFREY GEORGE
It was just past 11 p.m. on Friday, 24 May 2025, when Nasir Yusuf returned to his home in the Sabon Gari area of Daura town, Katsina State.
After a long day at the market, he likely looked forward to the relief that rest would bring to his tired body, or perhaps, a quiet conversation with his family.
What he found instead was a nightmare. His first wife, Zainab Lawal, 30, lay lifeless in a pool of blood. She had been stabbed multiple times.
According to the Katsina State Police Command, Nasir raised the alarm, prompting officers from the Sabon Gari division to rush to the scene.
She was taken to the Federal Medical Centre in Daura, but it was too late. She was declared dead on arrival by the attending physician.
A swift investigation followed. Living under the same roof was Nasir’s second wife, 23-year-old Rabi’a Labaran. She was arrested and, during interrogation, she confessed to the crime.
There had been a disagreement and, according to her, a misunderstanding that spiralled into a scuffle, then into something darker and irreversible.
Though the matter is still under investigation, the broad strokes remain tragic: a life lost, a family shattered, and a deep wound exposed in the practice of polygamy, where co-wives, often confined in close quarters, are left to navigate complex emotions without mediation or support.
In the wake of the killing, the Katsina State Commissioner of Police, CP Bello Shehu, issued a warning: “Shun all acts of domestic violence and refrain from taking the law into your own hands. Seek legal means for redress in cases of disputes. Vigilantism only perpetuates harm and undermines the rule of law.”
But for Zainab, the warning came too late. Her death is not just statistics; it is a stark symbol of a quiet war playing out in households where women are forced to co-exist in conditions that too often breed rivalry, resentment, and, sometimes, rage.
‘She fed my baby acid’
Just 10 days earlier, in a compound some 400 kilometres South-West of Daura, another household was reeling from an equally harrowing event.
This time, it was not a woman who was killed, but a three-month-old baby.
The scene was Malari village, in the Soba Local Government Area of Kaduna State. According to police reports, Maryam Ibrahim had left her infant son alone in their room to use the bathroom. When she returned, she found her co-wife, Zaliha Shuaibu, cradling the child. At first glance, the sight may have seemed benign.
But within seconds, Maryam realised something was terribly wrong. Foam gushed from the baby’s mouth. His skin showed signs of chemical burns.
Zaliha handed the baby back, and Maryam raced to a nearby hospital. Doctors tried to resuscitate the infant, but he was pronounced dead on arrival. A subsequent autopsy confirmed Maryam’s worst fear: her son had been fed acid.
The Kaduna State Police Command arrested Zaliha almost immediately. During questioning, she confessed that it was a deliberate act carried out with the assistance of her husband’s younger brother, Lawal Muhammad, who is now on the run.
The spokesperson for the Kaduna police, ASP Mansir Hassan, confirmed the incident.
Sharing the grim details, he said, “Zaliha confessed that Lawal provided the acid. The two conspired to kill the infant. We are sparing no effort in our investigation. Justice will be served.”
The Kaduna police commissioner, CP Rabiu Muhammad, promised a thorough investigation and accountability.
But beyond arrests and assurances lies a festering crisis that is rarely addressed: the psychological toll of polygamy, especially when compounded by poverty, lack of access to mental healthcare, and unresolved emotional grievances.
Borno Imam’s last meal
It was just after the Isha prayers when Chief Imam Goni Abbah returned home to his compound in Anguwan Doki, Maiduguri.
The evening was quiet, his community resting under a moonless sky, unaware that tragedy loomed within the walls of one of their own.
The 55-year-old imam had barely settled in when his second wife, 25-year-old Fatima Abubakar, served him dinner. What should have been an ordinary meal became his last.
According to the Borno State Police Command, Goni’s condition deteriorated rapidly after eating. He was rushed to the State Specialist Hospital, where he received emergency treatment.
Though he initially stabilised, his health took a sharp turn for the worse upon returning home. Within hours, he was dead.
The police launched an investigation after Goni’s family reported the incident at the GRA Police Station.
The Commissioner of Police, Abdu Umar, confirmed that officers from the Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department apprehended Fatima on October 19, 2022.
At the scene, tensions flared. Dozens of aggrieved youths gathered, some allegedly intent on mob justice. Police subdued the crowd and escorted the suspect to safety.
The case, now classified as culpable homicide, is with the Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions, awaiting formal charges. But Fatima’s chilling confession added a deeper layer to the tragedy.
“I never wanted the marriage,” she tearfully told journalists. “Goni was my second husband. I got separated from my first husband because I hate marriage. Any time I wake up to the fact that I am married, it pisses me off.”
Fatima’s statement painted a picture of deep psychological torment. She described fleeing her marital home two months after childbirth, sleeping for weeks in an abandoned building.
Repeated pleas to her parents to dissolve the marriage were refused. They urged her to be patient, to endure. Eventually, she returned, defeated.
“Not that he didn’t treat me well. We weren’t quarrelling. But I hate it when any man comes near me. I don’t really know what is wrong with me. Even now, speaking to you, I don’t really feel like I was the one who killed him.”
Her words, part confession, part cry for help, echo deeper than a single act of domestic homicide. They speak to the layers of marital distress, coercion, and emotional suppression that often remain unaddressed in traditional households.
In Fatima’s case, there were no visible scars, no outbursts, no public cries for help. Yet beneath the surface, she was fighting a private war.
In polygamous homes like that of Goni Abbah, emotional management is often treated as a domestic matter. Nigerian law recognises polygamous marriages under customary and Islamic systems, but offers little in terms of psychological support for those navigating their complex dynamics.
Patriarchal expectations often silence women. The pressure to endure outweighs the need to feel safe, fulfilled, or heard.
Tragically, Fatima did not accuse Goni of abuse. On the contrary, she described him as kind and supportive. Yet she resented his presence and the very idea of being married.
Her account raises urgent questions: Was she suffering from postpartum depression? An undiagnosed mental illness? Were her repeated attempts to flee ignored cries for help?
What’s clear is that the fatal night was no accident. Fatima purchased the poison at Maiduguri’s Monday Market. She planned it. She hid it. She carried it out.
Commissioner Umar confirmed the case is progressing through the justice system. But Goni Abbah’s death has already shaken the neighbourhood.
A respected imam, a spiritual guide, was killed in his own home by the woman he vowed to protect.
His death marks another fatal chapter in the often silent struggle within polygamous unions, a struggle exacerbated by societal indifference, shame, and the absence of support.
Ondo co-wife kills rival over ‘turn’
In the grey hours of February 4, 2022, a haunting scene unfolded in a small, shared room-and-parlour apartment in Idogun Camp, Ode-Irele, Ondo State.
By sunrise, 25-year-old Rebecca Nicodemus would be in police custody, and her co-wife, Precious, would be lying lifeless in a hospital, fatally stabbed over what should have been just another night of shared domesticity.
According to court records, what began as resentment and perceived neglect escalated into a moment of blind fury.
Rebecca, the younger of the two wives, had long nursed grievances about her husband’s affections, or the lack thereof. That evening, she waited for him in the living room. He had been with her briefly before excusing himself.
She assumed, correctly, that he had gone into the bedroom to be with her co-wife. As the night wore on, fury brewed quietly inside her.
“When he left me in the living room, I waited. But I later discovered he had gone to lie with my co-wife,” she told police during interrogation. “I could also hear them saying unkind things about me. So I waited for her to come out.”
When Precious eventually emerged, a confrontation erupted. Harsh words were exchanged. Rebecca accused her co-wife of betrayal, of mockery, of usurping what she believed was rightfully hers: her turn.
As tempers flared, Rebecca claimed Precious grabbed her clothing. Enraged, she reached for a kitchen knife lying on the living room table and stabbed Precious once in the back. It was enough.
Sympathisers rushed the wounded woman to a nearby hospital, but the doctor on duty pronounced her dead on arrival.
In her statement, Rebecca said, “It wasn’t my intention to kill her. I overreacted. I was angry.”
Appearing before an Ondo State Magistrates’ Court in Akure, Rebecca was charged with the murder of her co-wife.
The presiding magistrate, Damilola Sekoni, ordered that she be remanded in police custody pending advice from the Director of Public Prosecutions. The case was adjourned to February 22, 2022.
The deceased and the accused had shared not only a home, but also a life with the same man. Rebecca had joined the household just weeks before the tragedy.
According to court submissions, she had left her hometown in Taraba State to live with Paul Nicodemus, a farmer who had married her after separating from her first husband.
She said she had been unable to finish her education due to financial hardship and saw marriage as a way forward.
But, as it turned out, the marriage became a site of festering jealousy, unmet expectations, and a longing for love that would ultimately combust.
The Police Prosecutor, Obadasa Ajiboye, told the court that the defendant committed the offence around 5 a.m. and that the stabbing occurred during a heated altercation between the two co-wives.
This particular tragedy also highlights the recurring patterns of violence erupting in polygamous homes, where emotional management is poor and resentment is allowed to fester in silence.
What could have been resolved through mediation or elder intervention instead ended in bloodshed.
As the case awaits judicial conclusion, a man mourns one wife while seeking justice for the other.
The children are left motherless. And yet again, another story is added to the growing list of fatalities from Nigeria’s volatile polygamous households.
What price must be paid before conversations around co-wife rivalry, emotional abuse, and domestic mediation are taken seriously?
Polygamy in Nigeria: A background investigation
Polygamy has long been embedded in the cultural and religious fabric of Nigeria, particularly in the predominantly Muslim northern region, where it is not only widely practised but also legally and socially sanctioned.
The Qur’an permits a man to marry up to four wives, provided he treats them with equity and fairness.
In many communities, a man’s wealth and social standing are often measured by the number of wives and children he can support.
Yet, beneath the layers of custom and faith, a deeply troubling pattern of interpersonal violence, rivalry, and emotional trauma often simmers, unacknowledged and untreated.
Recent events have cast a harrowing spotlight on the toxic underbelly of polygamous households.
Across Nigeria, reports continue to emerge of co-wives poisoning meals, setting homes ablaze, or instigating fatal confrontations.
In several instances, the husbands themselves have become victims—stabbed, attacked, or poisoned in their sleep.
The common thread in these tragedies is an inability to mediate conflict, compounded by economic hardship, legal silence, and a societal reluctance to interrogate the harmful dynamics within polygamous setups.
In most of these households, women are pitted against one another for the husband’s affection, attention, and limited resources.
Poor men who enter polygamous marriages without adequate means to sustain multiple families often leave their wives embroiled in emotional and economic competition.
The result is a daily battle for survival, one where women become adversaries instead of allies.
A 2021 study published in the Journal of Family Studies indicated that polygamous families in sub-Saharan Africa, particularly Nigeria, exhibit significantly higher rates of domestic violence, child neglect, and intra-household conflict than monogamous ones.
The research also highlighted a correlation between polygamy and psychological distress among co-wives, with many reporting feelings of depression, worthlessness, and chronic stress.
Another paper in the African Journal of Reproductive Health underscored the mental health toll on children raised in volatile polygamous environments.
These children, often subjected to or witnesses of family disputes, grow up internalising conflict as a norm, an experience that may shape their own adult relationships.
In interviews with family law experts, the situation is said to be exacerbated by weak legal protections.
While polygamy is recognised under Islamic and customary law, there are few legal frameworks designed to resolve disputes within such households or ensure equity between wives.
This legal lacuna, the experts noted, leaves women with limited options for redress when violence or neglect occurs.
Gender rights activist Mercy Yohan Davidson argues that the state has abdicated responsibility for regulating polygamous marriages, effectively leaving women and children at the mercy of traditional authority structures that are often patriarchal and resistant to reform.
“It is now left to the women in the marriage and the husband to battle over how to make the union work, especially in places where this type of marriage is prevalent. You’ll hear the police say things like, ‘It is a family matter’, not minding that this may lead to loss of lives in the end,” she said.
Religious scholars often caution against the misuse of polygamy.
According to Islamic jurisprudence, fairness is the bedrock of a polygamous union. However, clerics admit that the reality falls far short.
Many men, they say, fail to uphold even the minimum expectations of fairness, fuelling rivalry and resentment.
Without external accountability or community-based conflict mediation mechanisms, women are left to navigate complex domestic terrains with little or no support.
Patriarchy and polygamy
Sociologists assert that patriarchy plays a central role in the way polygamy is practised and handled in Nigeria.
A sociological researcher, Esther Ndifreke, noted that in many polygamous homes, women are groomed to believe that endurance, silence, and submission are virtues.
“They are often discouraged from voicing discontent or seeking help for fear of bringing shame upon the family.
“This culture of silence ensures that abuse goes unreported and unpunished,” she said.
This is particularly germane considering the case of the Katsina acid attack, where neighbours later revealed that tensions between the co-wives had been simmering for months.
The husband, aware but indifferent, had reportedly told both women to ‘settle their quarrel as grown women’.
Several survivors of polygamous violence have recounted deep-seated trauma. Some have fled their homes, others live with permanent injuries.
A few have taken the rare and arduous route of pursuing legal redress, often facing ostracism from their communities.
One such survivor (name withheld), from Edo State and interviewed by our correspondent on Wednesday, said: “They told me to keep quiet, that it was a family matter. But I almost died in that house. My co-wife put rat poison in my food. As I speak to you, I am still in the house.
“She was only asked to apologise to me, and they rented a separate house for her. I am the first wife, but the way I am treated in that marriage, I don’t appreciate it, but there’s nothing I can do because my husband permits her excesses, and I don’t want a broken home because of my two daughters.”
Law enforcement laxity
Law enforcement agencies often struggle to respond effectively. As highlighted by Yohan Davidson, police typically view domestic disputes in polygamous homes as “private matters” and are reluctant to intervene unless the violence escalates to homicide.
A senior police officer based in the North-West, who requested anonymity for this report, lamented the lack of training and sensitivity within the force to handle the unique challenges of domestic conflict in polygamous settings.
“The problem is, sometimes when these cases come to the police, the elders of the community will come and say they want to withdraw the matter, as it is a personal or family case.
“You know the region I am in is deeply religious. So, if an Imam or an Alfa comes and speaks to the police along with the complainant’s family, asking for a case to be withdrawn, who are we to say no?” he queried.
The Nigerian National Human Rights Commission has in the past issued statements condemning gender-based violence in all forms, but specific guidelines or programmes addressing polygamy-related abuse remain scarce.
Community leaders and women’s groups have called for grassroots conflict resolution programmes, education on equitable marital practices, and economic empowerment initiatives to reduce the dependencies that exacerbate rivalry.
Polygamy is not inherently violent; practitioners have continued to stress. Indeed, many polygamous households operate peacefully, anchored in mutual respect and fairness.
‘Every wife should have her personal space’
A Christian polygamist who is from Delta State but lives in Lagos, known popularly as Double Chief, said the idea that all wives must live under the same roof, with rooms of their own, may not work in modern-day polygamy.
Double Chief, who has four wives who all have children for him, said all his wives live happily as they have separate houses away from each other.
He advised couples who want to marry many wives to ensure there is a model where peaceful coexistence is encouraged and rancour is discouraged.
“The quality of the women is also what matters. You cannot marry hot-tempered women and expect them to coexist,” he said.
Speaking further, he said he is happy he chose polygamy.
“My experience has been very peaceful. There are some challenges here and there with minor issues, but I have never had an issue where the police were invited to settle a fight. No, no, no. All of them are Christians and they live peacefully with each other,” he said.
Asked how he reconciles his faith with his marital style, he said, “God is not against polygamy. What He is against is the bad behaviour of sleeping around and causing trouble in the world. I did the right thing. I married them. I paid their bride price, and I am providing for them. So, I am not breaking any law of God.”
Christianity and polygamy
Christian perspectives on polygamy in Nigeria are diverse and often reflect a tension between cultural traditions and doctrinal teachings.
Some Christian leaders argue that polygamy is not inherently sinful.
Pastor Adewale Giwa of the Awaiting the Second Coming of Christ Ministry contends that biblical figures like Abraham and Jacob had multiple wives and were still favoured by God.
He emphasises that polygamy is more a societal issue than a spiritual one, asserting that a polygamist who maintains justice and equity among his wives can still be in right standing with God.
Similarly, in the Celestial Church of Christ, polygamy is not explicitly forbidden.
Tosho Oshoffa, son of the church’s founder, notes that his father had three wives before establishing the CCC and that the church currently has no law prohibiting polygamy among its clergy.
Conversely, other denominations take a stricter stance.
The Organisation of African Instituted Churches has resolved not to elect polygamous individuals to leadership positions, emphasising monogamy as the original divine plan.
The Methodist Church Nigeria and Assemblies of God Church Nigeria have also declared that members practising polygamy will be sanctioned and barred from holding any position within the church. AG rules strictly forbid any member from taking more than one wife.
A pastor in the church, Itekena Chepaka, said, “The leaders stressed that managing more than one wife was against Christ’s teachings and would cause rancour in the family, and by extension, the house of the Lord.”
What Islam says
Islamic jurisprudence permits a Muslim man to marry up to four wives, provided he can treat them with justice and equity.
An Islamic scholar, Alaran Hakeem, noted that the Qur’an states in Surah An-Nisa (4:3): “Marry women of your choice, two, three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly [with them], then only one…”
“This directive underscores the condition that fairness is a prerequisite for polygyny. Justice here extends beyond financial provision to include time, emotional care, and equitable attention to each wife.
“However, the Qur’an also acknowledges the difficulty of achieving perfect equity among wives. Surah An-Nisa (4:129) notes: “You will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging.”
“This verse tempers the earlier allowance, underscoring the moral and spiritual responsibility that accompanies polygyny,” he said.
Dr Usman Shu’aib, Head of Islamic Law at Bayero University, Kano, emphasises that polygyny is not an obligation but a conditional permission that carries significant ethical weight.
“Islam permits polygyny, but not without structure,” he notes. “A man who chooses this path must be ready to meet stringent conditions. The Prophet himself warned that any man who is unjust to his wives will appear on the Day of Judgement with half of his body paralysed.”
According to Shu’aib, many men enter polygamous marriages without the maturity, financial capacity, or emotional discipline required by Islamic law, thereby turning a lawful provision into a source of harm.
Similarly, Sheikh Ibrahim Yusuf, a prominent cleric based in Ilorin, warns against the romanticisation of polygyny.
“It is not for sexual satisfaction or social status. It is for protection, care, and social balance,” he said. “Islam brought polygyny to curb social injustices, like the neglect of widows and orphans, especially in post-war societies. But in our context today, many use it as a cover for personal indulgence.”
Sheikh Yusuf insists that before marrying another wife, a man must conduct a full self-evaluation and consult with religious scholars to ensure he can meet the Qur’anic demands for justice.
While Islamic law does not require the existing wife to approve her husband’s decision to take another, scholars like Dr Shu’aib argue that such conversations can prevent discord. “Islam encourages mutual consultation,” he says. “A man who blindsides his wife in such a major life decision sows distrust and division.”
Legal perspectives
In Nigeria, polygyny exists within a legal mosaic shaped by statutory, customary, and Islamic laws.
The statutory legal system, governed by the Marriage Act, recognises only monogamous unions. Marrying another person while legally bound under this Act constitutes bigamy, a criminal offence.
However, customary and Islamic marriages are exempt from this provision. They allow polygamy, provided the appropriate cultural and religious rites are fulfilled.
In the 12 northern states where Sharia law operates, Islamic marriages are fully recognised by the courts.
However, rights enforcement remains a challenge. Many women in polygamous marriages lack access to legal documentation, making claims to inheritance, custody, or maintenance difficult.
Without formal contracts or registration, spouses and their children are often left vulnerable.
To address this, scholars and legal advocates urge the documentation of marriages and education around spousal rights.
Sheikh Yusuf calls for mosques to play a greater role, stressing, “Imams must educate their congregants on the rules and responsibilities of polygyny. This is not a game. People’s lives and futures are involved.”
Legal reform is also critical. Advocates suggest that protections currently available under statutory law, such as inheritance rights, child custody guidelines, and domestic abuse protections, be standardised across customary and Islamic marriages.
This, experts note, would provide a consistent legal shield for women and children, regardless of the marital framework they fall under. (Punch)
