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What I went through was worse than crying – Lekan Balogun

What I went through was worse than crying - Lekan Balogun - Photo/Image

THE Otun Olubadan of Ibadan land, Oba Lekan Balogun’s twins Fadeel and Fadeelah were abducted last week in his Akobo, Ibadan home. The six-year olds regained their freedom on Monday after payment of N10 million ransom, though neither the police nor the traditional ruler confirmed ransom payment. In this interview with Head of Southwest Bureau, BISI OLADELE, Balogun relives the traumatic experience of the six days and reveals how he and his wife coped.

What was your experience during the six days your twins were in kidnappers’ captivity?

I love children. I love my children particularly. But I love these two children especially. When they wake up in the morning, they would come straight to my bedroom. One would lie by my side, the other on the other side, and would be shouting “Daddy Daddy, good morning.” And they would be reporting each other; he did this, she did that. I was very close to them. May be because I had them this old made all the difference. And they are lovely kids. If my bigger kids are aware of how  I relate with these little children, they would really be jealous.

How old are they?

Six. They’ll be seven on the 5th of July. So I would do anything to protect them. When they were away, we knew something fundamental was missing in the family. The child before them is already 18. There’s 11 years gap between them. Jibola is his name. He is always quarrelling with them. Why? May be he’s wondering why they should be that close to their daddy. And if he sneezes, they’ll come and report him to me. And he would come and say they are abusing him. Of course, the age difference is such that they should respect him but because they are Daddy’s friends, they don’t see the reason why they should give him the respect that he deserves. You know that kind of thing. And he too at 18 and being a child, too overreacts to them.

It’s either he is beating one or abusing the other and they would come and report him to me. Even their mother, whatever she does, they come and report her to me. And nine out of 10 times, by my perception, she is wrong. Do all these make you feel like a young father that you were several years ago? I react to these things intellectually. Seven out of 10 times, I disagree with their mother. She says whatever these kids want, I make sure they have their way. But it’s not true. And the kids also are aware that whatever she does wrong, I will correct her. I always tell her that she should count herself lucky that whenever they have a cross-over point with her, they would report to me. If they don’t, they will grow up accepting the wrong values of life. They do it routinely themselves, even when it doesn’t matter. Sometimes, I’ll tell them she is your mother but they would always report and I will correct her sometimes. The kids make the house bubble all the time. Apart from the physical presence that you miss, what other thing did you miss? In fact, the house was quiet for that one week. We weren’t doing anything. The mother was living on injections.

Though I was strong not to need injections but I was not happy. What went on in your mind and that of their mother for that one week? Strong hope? I won’t even contemplate them not coming back. I thought miracles could happen, that they would come back. I can’t afford to think I would not see them again. If it didn’t happen, it would have had terrible adverse effect on my life. Apart from injections, what else sustained their mother throughout the trying period? I kept talking to her, kept reassuring her that they would be back, that my mind would not contemplate them not coming back. I was so sure they would come back but I didn’t have the certainty. She was crying most of the time. I never cried but what I was going through was worse than crying. As a public figure, how would you describe it in relation to the thousands of people calling or coming to sympathize? I went on with my daily routines as if nothing was happening in my family.

The nurse that looked after my blood pressure and sugar level was amazed that my blood pressure did not shoot up. And some intellectual factors helped me a lot. I talked to some guests today about one. When I was in the postgraduate school, there was a theory I came across. It states that most of the issues human beings call problems are mere decision options, that we have no problem. All problems are decision options. People fret and panic and create the problems themselves. And most things we call problems are like that. Decision options, choices, are what we call problems. I can give you many examples, can’t think of them right now. How did it help you in this situation? I saw it this way: My kids are not home today, they’ll soon be back. They are not home tomorrow, I’m sure they’ll be back the next. It kept me going as if they were not missing. But deep inside me, I was missing them very much. I love those kids, I love all my children and children generally but I love these kids especially. May be because they are coming in my life at a time I am much older, much calmer.

I’m not a violent father, I’m not the type that looks for koboko (horse tail). Occasionally I would tease these ones too, I would say go and bring koboko for me and their mother would say, ehen, Daddy has brought koboko to deal with them. When one of them tells me to use it on the other, I would say: give it to me and don’t tell me when to use it. I’ll use it when I am ready. I have plenty of canes in the house; sometimes we gather them and throw away. As a public figure, how did it go for that one week? I was following my routine, even yesterday I was going to attend the traditional council meeting, the third Tuesday of the month when we do it. I was at Iwo Road going when they said, ah, baba go back, we’ll come and visit you at home. What about the buzzing telephone lines, the calls? My phone is sick of battery right now. I was charging it. If it was 80 per cent right now, within an hour, it would be 20. It was three per cent when I was coming to you now. Calls were coming. Even those I have not heard from for three years have been calling. What lessons of life did you learn from the incident? They confirmed the theory I already knew: that all problems are not problems but decision options; that the basic problem is just not to see the problem as problem.

It makes you survive, it discourages your blood pressure from rising. Their mother was down even though she is not as close to them. If you ask her, she’ll confirm it. What advise do you have for Nigerians on security? We have to be more conscious on security. I’ll never allow these kids and their mother to go to any supermarket even the one close by on foot again, whatever happens. They have the choice of driving themselves or the driver will drive them. They just said it’s just down the road.

They were just outside of our gate; before they reached the next house, we saw this car parked with two men in it. And as they reached the side of the car, one came out and said: “Enter the car, sit at the back seat.” They were protesting and the guy showed them a gun tucked into his trousers on his right side, saying: “Do you want this?” Then she succumbed. That was how they got to the back seat of the car. They drove off initially towards the toll gate of the Ibadan-Lagos Expressway; half way through, they made a U-turned, came back to Akobo area and then dropped their mother and drove off with the kids. I’m sure that experience she will never forget. All that one week she was thinking and crying and all that; these are the things that she remembered. She went through it with them. It was a traumatic experience. I dont know how they felt when they saw themselves on Monday.

I have not seen them since they were released. And as soon as I heard, I told their mother to go and pick them. And doctors saw them on Monday. And yesterday, they said the psychologist was going to see them to assess the prospect of a trauma developing from the experience. And the two groups said there was no damage. Thank God for that. But I have not gotten the details of the psychological analysis. When they come back, I’ll get all that. I was surprised at the level of support I got from the Nigerian public, the police, the media, the State Security Service (SSS). They came to see me on how to find a way out of the issue. They said they were called from Abuja. The AIG called, the Commissioner of Police came. It was an incredible support – people calling from Abuja, Lagos even Port- Harcourt, and said they heard it on the radio. We came out on Wednesday. On Thursday most papers published the story, some even published it on the front page. There were several phone calls from media people. The incident showed me the level of sophistication that our police have reached that ordinarily we are not aware of. They are actually advancing in the use of technology. But the kidnappers are also advancing. Anyway, we thank God for everything.   (The Nation )

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