In recent times, a good number of marriages have been dissolved as a result of battery and domestic violence. In other extreme cases, domestic violence has led to death of married partners. Ironically, most of the antagonising couples were well celebrated during their weddings before things fell apart between them. The once loving lovebirds all of a sudden became enemies and at each other’s throat. As a result of this, young men and women are now wary of not only venturing into marriage but of the person they are meant to live the rest of their lives with. Saturday Punch asked some Nigerians what they would do if their partners gave them a beating five days to their wedding
I can condone a lot but not beating
Agasi Gift
Any man that raises his hand on a woman is not worthy to be called a man. No matter what anyone says, it will happen again. I’m not ready to live the rest of my life in regret. I will tell my friends and family why the marriage is being called off and if they really care about me and my well-being, they would see reasons with me. I put my happiness first in everything I do and cannot go into slavery in the name of marriage. A man should learn how to control his temper no matter the level of provocation. If I did or said something wrong, the best thing for him to do is walk away from me for a while. That is a proof that he is truly a man. I’m not a fool either. If I really did something wrong, I would always apologise at the end of the day.
I will still marry her
Tunde Layonu
I will still go ahead with the marriage because all arrangements have been put in place and I wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone. Five days to a wedding is too short for a marriage to be called off because I would already have invited a whole lot of people. It would be better I continue with it than subject the whole family to ridicule. Before my wife to be will choose to slap me, there must be a reason and subsequent times it might also be my time to beat her up too. I don’t believe in perfection and I believe marriage should be for better for worse. The good thing is that I have a choice. If the beating becomes a trend, I can always quit the marriage.
I’d rather be with a man who respects me
Efe Omekedo
To me, a man who beats me five days to our wedding doesn’t deserve me. I feel a man who raises his hands on you would do that again and again because it simply means he lacks self control and that isn’t a good sign for both me and our unborn children. I wouldn’t want to raise my children in a house where they feel it’s okay for dad to hit mum. Judging from personal experience, it wrecks the children emotionally and marriages like that end up in divorce. The main question is, why allow my children go through that? Why allow myself go through that. I’d rather be with a man who respects me because sometimes love isn’t just enough.
I can never marry such a woman
Okolaho Taiwo
I won’t even marry a woman that talks back at me, not to not to talk of one who slaps me five days to the wedding. Marriage is all about happiness and there is nothing happy about a woman beating you up just few days to you walking down the aisle with her. I will never live with such a woman because I hate arrogant attitude. I will call it off and nobody would kill me because it’s my life. I will call everyone I invited and tell them we are suspending the wedding for one reason or another. I will not tell them my supposed wife beat me up because it’s very shameful.
I can’t live with an abusive man
Amokeye Adi
Personally, I can’t marry a man who hits me for anything. There are many ways of expressing displeasure at something and for me, hitting can’t be one of them. A guy who can hit me once can do it many times more and I don’t think it’s sensible to think I can build a healthy home with a person like that. It will affect a lot of other things; from my career to my relationship with other people and my sanity. Besides and most importantly, the children we’ll have together will be affected negatively by an abusive man. If a guy I’m supposed to marry hits me five days to our wedding, I’m calling off the event. I can’t choose to spend the rest of my life with an abusive person.
It’s a sign she would beat me every day of my life
Omotayo Dennis
In everything you have to do, there is a blueprint for you to follow. If you are a Christian, then the Bible is your guide and if you are a Muslim, the Quran should also guide you. It is not written anywhere in the bible that a wife should beat her husband up. If she slaps me five days to our wedding, it is a sign that I would be beaten up every day for the rest of my life. Couples should get to know each other better before getting married so as to guard against surprises that may spring up.
He will kill me in the marriage
Adewale Iyabode
There are no two ways about it, I would stop such a marriage. The only thing is that I have already put a lot into the planning: from booking a venue, getting people to cook and other logistics. I would run away, probably travel to a totally new place. If anyone calls to find out what happened to the marriage, I would tell them not to worry because I will let them know of a new date. How can a man raise his hands on me just five days to our wedding? I haven’t even entered his house and he is displaying such tendencies. That means when we get to live together, he would kill me. Any man who claims to love me would never hit me.
Such a marriage is cancelled
Shola Shodunke
I will tell everybody that I can’t go on with the marriage. If she can beat me up, then it means I can’t handle her and I’m sure she will be beating me in the marriage. By that time, I won’t be able to complain to anyone because marriage is for better for worse. If a woman can have the courage to slap you when she knows that marriage is just by the corner, it shows that she doesn’t love you and what is the point of going into a marriage without love?
It depends on the situation
Bukola Agbaje
If he hasn’t beaten me before, then I will continue with the marriage. What I would do is that I would commit the marriage into God’s hands and pray for him to change. There is nothing or nobody that God cannot change. It’s is for one to keep praying to God because the devil is always out to tempt and cause trouble. If unfortunately he hits me in such a way that I get wounded maybe on my face, we will have to do the marriage in a closet just between me and him and selected members of both families. Who knows, maybe he is reacting as a result of pressure. It doesn’t matter if it’s five days to the wedding. A man may not touch you during courtship but beats you every day for the rest of your married life.
No woman can slap me
Adeleke Abe
I don’t think any woman can slap me because I’m a man, but whatever would make a woman beat her husband to be just five days to her wedding is definitely not a good sign. Before I even contemplate getting married to her, it means that we would have been dating for a while. She must have been hiding a side of herself from me. If that kind of thing should happen, I would cancel the marriage immediately. There is no form of compromise whatsoever. She is the one who is going to lose at the end of the day because women are more excited when it comes to getting married.
(Punch)
