Why My Marriage Collapsed — Jim Iyke
Ace Nollywood actor, Jim Iyke, has revealed that not only was he once married, the union he had crashed but not many people know about that part of his life.
In a chat with media personality, Chude Jideonwo, the father of three noted that he was the cause of his marriage failure.
The actor stated that his marriage failed due to the death of his mother.
He stated that while grieving over his mother’s death he emotionally abandoned his partner who gave birth to his first son.
Iyke further noted that he invested all the love he had in his child and ‘left his wife behind.’
He said, “I have had a failed marriage but nobody knows that. I have three kids. I caused my marriage to fail. I am not the type that would blame anybody for my mistakes. There is a saying, ‘to boss up, own up’, There is a part of me that would take the easier route out. Anytime I did anything mediocre in my life, I always did it when I was emotional because I am extremely proficient in being deliberate and being strategic about everything I do. Every time I failed; it was because I got emotional. I became mediocre then I appeal to the smaller man in me and the part that was not emotionally intelligent.”
In a part of his interview, he noted that due to his closeness with his mother, no one was willing to inform him about her death. He said, “When I lost my mother, I could not find my feet for years. There was a lifestyle, spiritual connection that I lost. It took them 72 hours to tell me that I had lost my mother. I just got out of an interview in London. There is always that one person in the family that is a deliverer of bad news. The person who does that in our family said he would not break the news to me because there is a great chance I would not make it.”
Speaking of how his mother’s demise affected his relationship with his wife and son, the multiple award-winning thespian stated, “Just when I was getting over it, my woman was pregnant with my first son. I had a quiet space, there was nobody around me to take care of me anymore. There was nothing all of a sudden and the grief hit me. The loss hit me and I could not sleep for days. I was irritated and was not the loving man she met.
“I am a goofball, forget the perception out there. I am the prankster of the family and the guy that starts the laugh at the most serious issue. They don’t even invite me to family meetings because I start with a joke then my father calls me to order. I lost my sense of humour, the lion in me and the leader in me. I just gave myself to the elements, so she suffered for that. I became an obsessive dad. I took everything in me to my son.
“I was changing diapers; I was the proper stay-home dad. I took everything to him and left her behind. I took all my love and attention and invested it in my son and left her behind. I was an excellent father and a woeful husband. They are white, they are not built like us. After a while, she said, I can’t find who I married. Then we parted as friends. I told her, ‘I am here but I am not here. There is no presence here. I don’t know what it would take me to heal and bring myself back here but if you want to wait for me, I will appreciate it and if you can’t, I will understand’. She said she can’t.” (Daily Trust)