Stop marrying broke women – Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo tells men

Popular relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has sparked debate on social media after urging men to raise their standards in choosing marriage partners.

Okonkwo made the remarks in a series of posts shared on his official X handle on Sunday, where he argued that many men now view marriage as a financial burden rather than a partnership.

Okonkwo wrote: “Men, it’s high time we start having standards as well.

“You guys are too used to women who are liabilities, that’s why less and less men desire marriage, they see it as a burden.

“Men set standards like you won’t marry broke women too, that you want a partner and not a dependent, maybe it will make more women work and not see marriage and dating as a poverty alleviation scheme.”

He also criticised the expectation that men must carry the full financial responsibility in relationships, describing the trend as damaging.

Okonkwo said: “Yes, I know some of you men like the needy, hungry and dependent women because it boosts your ego and helps you control women, but it’s doing more harm than good.

“All humans have value and abilities; let them develop it.”

The remarks quickly triggered mixed reactions online, with some Nigerians supporting his position while others criticised the statement.

A user identified as #digitalbimpe wrote: “I can never be a liability to my man. Inasmuch as I want my man to take care of me, I also will take care of my man. To be a man is not easy.”

Another user, Ibukun Ogunsola, who tweets as #IbukunHQ, said: “If men made it clear they wanted partners, not dependants, it might push more women to work for themselves rather than rely on dating for financial support.”

However, critics argued that the traditional expectation of men as providers should not be dismissed.

A user identified as #blueasake wrote: “The man’s responsibility is to provide, lead, and protect… The woman’s role is to birth kids, nurture, comfort and teach. Why then are men so quick to label a woman a liability if she is not co-providing yet?”

Another user, #edolefty, said: “If a woman without money is a liability, then a man who needs his wife’s salary to afford marriage is also a liability.

“What you are preaching isn’t standards, it’s men looking for wives who will split bills and still perform unpaid wife duties.”

Offering a more balanced perspective, Queen David, who tweets as #Royalvessel, wrote: “Both men and women should marry someone who contributes, be it work, taking care of the children, cooking and cleaning, etc., it’s a partnership. Also, you both agree on what works for you in your marriage.”