It is a universal fact that women cry easily. Many husbands do not know what to do with a crying adult. What many husbands can hardly tolerate is when the reason for the tears are too “minor” or look childish.
What many men do is to walk out or “quarrel more” with words such as “stop crying like a baby. Every little thing cry, cry and cry. You better stop behaving like a baby.”
With words like these, the tears increase. When some husbands try to force themselves to hold their crying wives, they only hold them physically and not emotionally with words like “okay, it’s enough. I say it is enough.” I refer to these types of husbands as “miserable comforters.”
Every husband must know that God wired the men and the women differently. For example, the lungs of the woman are smaller than that of the man. There is more water in the female blood than in the male blood. Also, the blood cells are more in the male than in the female.
Women are more delicately and emotionally wired than men and are supposed to be handled with care. They put almost all their emotions into everything they do or say while men put in more of their brains, until it may gradually and partly or fully get to the emotions.
Love means so much to the normal woman. She gives out so much of it through carrying of pregnancy, baby care, cooking among others. She, therefore, expects her “love tank” to be constantly refilled by her husband through sweet words, appreciation and tender care. They want attention and love. When they feel there is no attention and love attached to the issue at stake, they may cry. Love should be delicately handled. 1Peter 3:7 says: “Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel …”
Take note of the words “according to knowledge “ and “weaker vessel.” The word “weaker vessel” simply means delicate, tender, sensitive and the rest. Just as the woman’s body is delicate, tender and sensitive to physical assaults, that is how her emotions are also delicate tender and sensitive to verbal assaults.
She, therefore, cries easily due to words or actions that the man may think are not important. When our daughter, Pastor NojaIgheleAlaigba, turned 16 and we bought birthday gifts for her more than she expected, she started crying. But it was not so with her elder brother, Toro. He applied his emotions to appreciate, but not to cry. Women can cry when they are very happy or when they are hurt. They cry when they feel their spouse is not sensitive, loving or caring enough. That is how they are and there is nothing any man can do to make them behave like men. Men are created to behave like men. Women are created to behave like women.
There is a very small percentage of bad or manipulative women who shed “crocodile tears” to control their husbands. Generally,women cry more than men.
The solution on how to handle a crying wife is to be found in the man learning how to live with the wife according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7). Also,Colossians 3:19 says: “Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them.”
God knows how He wired the woman hence, He made the Apostle Paul to write what he wrote. God is simply saying that when your wife is crying or when you think that your wife is behaving like a baby; do not be bitter with her. It is in your not being bitter and showing her more attention, tender care and love amid her crying or moodiness that will enable her come out of it and still respect you as a man. When she cries, wipe her tears and cuddle her. Study her and know how best and what best you can use to restore her. Love you!
•Written by Charles Ighele
