Dear Bunmi,
I’m in my early 60s, a few years ago, I took in a girl as a maid. Her family wouldn’t help her because they thought she was wayward. In the beginning, she was unstable and kept vanishing, at first for days, then for weeks.
She would come back, weeping and begging us to take her back and I always accepted because I thought I could do something good with her potentials. My husband called me a fool and threatened to throw her out if she didn’t behave.
With time, she became more settled and trained as a hair-dresser. I got her a shop and used my money to buy the necessary equipment for her salon.
A year later, she became pregnant for my husband, a 65-year-old man. He claimed he was drunk when she seduced him, but she told me they’d made love often, not just once. She’d been to his factory too as confirmed by some of the workers.
This girl has flatly refused to have an abortion and has moved out of the house, I suspect my husband has helped her to set up a home. This man has children older than this ungrateful girl and is a grand-father. How could he rubbish the family name with this scum?
Kemi, by e-mail.
Dear Kemi,
It’s never wrong to show love and affection to someone who needs it as feeling love enriches us a lot. Yet, sometimes, giving that love demands a price that is simply too high. This girl you helped was denied the kindness she needed as a child and to protect herself, she became cynical. She learnt to take when she could and not give back.
As things are, there’s precious little you can do now as a baby is on the way. You’ve been betrayed by your husband too, but you must learn to absorb the shock.
What they both intend to do with the baby is no longer your business. You need to move on with your life. Experiences like yours are very common and though painful, life goes on.
One hard lesson you’ve learnt though is that the fact that you love, trust and give doesn’t mean that you shall be loved, trusted and given in return. (Vanguard)
